Norm Definition: actions taken and decisions made commonly within a culture

Synonyms: custom, common practice

Added context from Hanna & Lizzie:

Norms often require less energy to perform, possibly in part due to systems and structures built by the culture to encourage these actions or simply because the culture does not project shame onto these actions.

Norms are so important that a culture is commonly defined as a collection of norms practiced within a group. However, norms are rarely stagnant. They evolve over time with a culture. When something goes from an abnormal behavior to a norm, it has been normalized.

When actions become more popular and begin to threaten the status quo, they are often met with shame from people who are comfortable with the current norm. However, when the shame is overcome, what was once abnormal can become a norm. This is part of why we would never encourage someone to identify as queer simply because they are nonmonogamous. We hope someday nonmonogamous is not queer at all, and instead, it is simply an accepted relationship structure.

It is also worth noting that another norm of American culture is to centralize one’s romantic relationship in their life. One’s romantic partner is often also their “best friend” and the “most important” person to them. The opposition to this norm is known as “relationship anarchy,” and the authors encourage readers who enjoy deconstruction to look into this philosophy, as many people who choose not to centralize romantic relationships in their lives are also nonmonogamous and vice versa.