Choice Definition: when someone intentionally directs energy toward a subset of options

Synonyms: decision

Added context from Hanna & Lizzie:

When a person has two or more reasonable options, they typically must make a choice. Reasonability is somewhat subjective, and a synonym might be attainable. As mentioned in the couple's privilege section, each person can determine for themselves which choices are genuinely reasonable. If someone claims they cannot participate in monogamy and be happy, and therefore monogamy is not a reasonable choice for them, we believe them. Folks who feel this way often identify as nonmonogamous by orientation rather than by choice.

When there are infinite choices within some category, that category is a spectrum. When someone directs energy toward only a subset of choices, they have made a decision. Confusingly, you can also say they have made a choice. When someone has a set of choices they are considering, and it is infeasible to direct their energy toward all the choices, then a decision/choice must be made. Often, when someone puts very little energy into a decision, the resulting choice is simply the norm since norms often require less energy to perform, as stated in the norms section.

Humans have limited time and energy, and while some CNM folks wish they could date everyone in the world (cough Lizzie cough), many of us find joy in focusing our energy on a subset of people and deepening those relationships. Nonmonogamous folks differ from monogamous folks in that they may not choose only one, but that does not mean they cannot make commitments and build bonds as deeply as folks in monogamous relationships.