Agreement Definition: a mutual choice made by two or more people

Added context from Hanna & Lizzie:

Tying this into our definition of choice, an agreement can be when two people collaborate to determine which subset of choices to focus their energy toward. The key piece of this definition is “mutual” because one person cannot reach an agreement alone. This is why all agreements involve consent, which we will tackle in another section. Similar to acceptance, agreement is an active decision. Each person must own their agreements and the things they have chosen to accept.

For people practicing non-normative relationship structures such as CNM, it is not uncommon for people to write an explicit “relationship agreement” with each partner. Lizzie has done this with most of her more serious partners, and she finds it to be an excellent exercise to help determine the relationship’s compatibility and direction. In her agreements, she typically sets relationship norms like sharing food, splitting expenses equally, daily rituals like a good morning text, etc. These norms are brainstormed together and agreed upon by both parties in each relationship.

There are some elements of Lizzie’s relationship agreements that are not agreements. For example, Lizzie has boundaries in relationships, such as not engaging in serious conversations after 10 pm. Boundaries are arrangements you have with yourself only, so if a partner attempts to engage in a serious conversation after 10 pm, Lizzie will communicate her boundary and not engage in the conversation further.